Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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