You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just googled if crying burns calories
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize