guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
