Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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