Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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