it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize