cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
