Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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