And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
