And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
