yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
