I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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