You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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