I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
