I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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