I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
