no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
