Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
