You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize