hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
