I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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