Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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