Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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