Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
