Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize