i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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