k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so let's talk penis.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
