He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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