the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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