Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
accomplished twins. life is a go
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
