Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
