I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
