when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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