the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
did i just pee glitter
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
