I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
