Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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