I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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