i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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