I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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