i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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