In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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