On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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