Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
