ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
