i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
