Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
