i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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