How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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