So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
