Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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