i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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