Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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