I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
