belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
