Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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