This girl is more easily done than said...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
