It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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