I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize