i think my mom watched the whole time
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
