You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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